Love is not enough

 

We all want to be loved, but with love comes patience, respect, and empathy, and without all that- love is not strong enough to keep you together.

Love is not like It is in the movies; there is no secret to living happily ever after.

Unfortunately, Jane Austen and Nicholas sparks give us unrealistic expectations that love conquers all. Sadly, your happy ending starts with a little more than love alone.

Because if you are like me, you’ve held on to relationships that are toxic because you loved them and love was enough. 

When we love a person, we look past their faults – we forgive and move on, and the desire to forgive someone because they did you wrong is just another excuse to add to the list.

If relationships only needed love to survive, none of my previous lovers would have failed. I’m writing this because I want whoever is reading this to know it’s okay to walk away from someone who makes you love yourself less. 

“He treats me horribly, I can’t stop crying, I love him, but I don’t want to live like this”. 

These are a few of many excuses I’ve heard on-going from friends close to me, explanations for their shitty relationships; that they know aren’t right but continue to hurt their hearts anyway.

“When it’s bad it’s awful, but when it’s good, it’s perfect, I love them. I really do.”

Trust me, I’ve used every excuse possible and deep down, I too really did love this man, and I thought, like most of you that our love would conquer everything. But, even though I did love him – it eventually destroyed us both, and it ended three years later, I ended the cycle of this back and forth relationship that I called love. I was 18 at the beginning, so I understood right from wrong. Anyways, you see love is not enough no matter how much you try to make it work.

The truth is love is many things, to me – love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotions; it’s not below someone or above someone it’s equal. Love is having a companion through every avenue in the journey of your life. Love is knowing where you stand and the vulnerability of not knowing what tomorrow brings but putting faith in them and not abusing power. 

Love is many beautiful things, but love is not worth the cycle of bad days, tears or feeling you are not enough. For a relationship to be healthy and beneficial to both of you, love is most certainly required but in addition to more positive things like sacrifice, commitment and understanding.
If the two of you want the relationship to work long term – being hot heated for one another is just not going to cut it.
I want you to imagine your life, 5-10 years down the track – is this what you want? The constant cycle of you don’t know how tomorrow is going to be, can you wake up one more day with this confusion lingering around, ask your self is this love enough for me. Or, have you realised you’re worth more than this.