Close enough

Slowly but surly, I let my worries fly away.

I’m at peace.

Content enough

We have spoken, vaguely. you hate me.

I am numb but I want you to be happy, are you? does she make you happy?

I did it, just so you know. You would be proud I’m sure. It has been Eight months since I last saw you. but thinking about you has become just apart of my every day life.

Your country is beautiful, to say the least.

Funny to think – we had planned you, our kids and I to spend Christmas together here. funny how now it’s just me. Alone.

I don’t know why I think that’s funny, it’s not. Just sad.

I feel brave, I’m out of my comfort zone and I don’t know how I did it. But I did.

7pm; I am looking at my reflection in the window. I’m on my way to San Fransisco, so excited we’re off to a Halloween party tomorrow night.

Just wondering if you are in North Carolina like you said you where going or are you still in Japan? I have an urge to contact you and perhaps just take a flight to you and there’s so much more I want to say to you so many words left unsaid yet I feel it’s best I say nothing at all. you’ve barely said two words to me and the last time we spoke was when I first went home and I guess you don’t really care, anyway right?

I’m missing my son, it’s only been 4 weeks without him so far -2 more weeks to go and my heart aches for you because I know it’s been so long since you’ve seen your daughter and I’d like to know how you cope, but with out a doubt you are so strong-minded   I know you’re doing whatever it takes to have her in your arms.

If only you knew, just how badly I want to message you.

If only you knew, the amount of times I’ve wished you would respond.