Where do broken hearts go?

As the sun sets, I’m sitting here, tears soaking my face. Will I ever see you again? It’s bittersweet how I’m feeling, and I wonder if I’ve made the right decision, my heart says no – my head says, you’ve got this Sophie count to Three, and as I begin to count to Three, it happens again, the feeling of heartbreak.

I’m asking myself when will the pain go away, I know though it won’t. Because it’s only just the beginning and as I write this I wonder, where do broken hearts go? Do they heal themselves and then we start over because I feel my heart has not been completely healed.. I’m thinking too much now.

One…

I feel numb.

Breath.

Two…

Calm, silence falls around me.

Three… Anxiety, something I can touch – clothes… there’s clothes on the ground. Something I can smell – a candle on my bench…

Breath

I’m dreaming of a better day, any day but this one please god and I’m struggling to understand all of this.

I’m struggling.

I still ask myself when will this pain go away. It’s only been two months.

Two months.

I’ve been through this before, every feeling. I’ve felt it. Only this time, it’s on me.

It. Doesn’t. Get. easier

I’m choosing to eliminate my feelings, and that’s okay. I have done it for a while now – pushed everyone away, including him The one person I said I wouldn’t push away.

My heart is broken.

 

 

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